WASHINGTON — He was going to pardon only one, but President Bush figured he really owed the flightly one's long term parner this time. His dog had just scared the stuffing out of the gay bird.
Bush spared "chicken" as he was affectionatly known to former Rep. Mark Foley. The bird has been known for years inside the beltway to be light in his loafers and is appropriately named "Flyer" (Don't Ask, Don't Tell) — during a Rose Garden ceremony on Wednesday. The back door "friend", "Fryer," was also pardoned but was nowhere to be seen on this raw day and "DOMA" was not even discussed.
The president explained that his Scottish terrier, Barney, got involved this year. The presidential dog typically gets his exercise by chasing a soccer ball around the Rose Garden.
He ("Barney") " came out" Wednesday, as did Flyer," Bush then said. "And instead of chasing the soccer ball, he chased the gay birds." Bush announced that the gay birds would be sent off on a vacation for to Disneyland in California because the two can be recognized as "domestic partners" there (and not Disney World in Florida) and would be the honorary grand marshals of a Thanksgiving Day Parade and then relocate to a coop for two in Gavin Newsom's San Francisco after the mayor of that liberal bastion granted the two sanctury. However, after the trip to Disneyland, this year marks a change when there will be full accceptance of the couple and a ceremony is planned to be held at a notoary public on Fairfax in a stationary shop somewhere by CBS Television City in Hollywood. Bill Maher has been invited but not confirmed if he will be in attendance. Arianna Huffington declined her invitation because she is tired of attending what she views as sham marraiges and will only attend such events when couples are given equal rights under the law.
"Barney" never "came out" prior to the event and surprised Bush. Bush was heard off the record to have said; "I thought we fixed that."
Just back from a trip to the Cruise-Holms wedding, Bush and his wife Laura will spend the holiday camping it up at Camp David before another international trip early next week to the Baltics and the Middle East so they can avoid the rantings of Madam Pelosi and not have deal with how Cheney is being evicted from his unofficial office in the House side of the Capitol.
The Bushes left the White House early Wednesday afternoon and arrived at the presidential retreat.
The first family's menu for Thanksgiving includes a menu prepared by their avowed cheif homosexual cooks Karl & Ken, and includes straight free-range roasted turkey flown in from Midland, Texas, ciabatta bread dressing, pumkin zucchini gratin, lashed maple sweet potatoes, basil chive whipped raw red potatoes, and extra non-dairy creamy green pumpkin pie.